To read some FCJ VOCATION STORIES, click below:
Alicia Pérez, Spanish
Afra Primadiana, Indonesian
Agnes Samosir, Indonesian
MaryAnne Francalanza, Maltese
Ann McGill, Canadian
Luminiţa Popescu, Romanian
Mary Rose Rawlinson, Canadian
It was exciting, crazy, frightening, incredible, all at the same time ...
Alicia Pérez fcJ, Spanish
My name is Alicia. I am from Spain, joined the Sisters Faithful Companions of Jesus in the USA, and made final profession in 2006 in Salta, NW of Argentina. I arrived to Salta five years ago. Our community is located in very poor neighborhood. I work there and also teach computer science at the Catholic University.
When I was studying for a PhD in computer science, the idea of a religious vocation swept into my mind. It was exciting, crazy, frightening, incredible, all at the same time. Honestly, I couldn’t make much sense of it: here I was, half way through a PhD in computer science, and thinking of becoming a nun?? I had never heard of such a thing. And what a waste of my effort! Plus, I am a very independent person. Surely I could never make a vow of obedience and live in a community of sisters. Yes, I was giving myself all kinds of reasons why this was non-sense. And yet deep inside I had a strange, almost silly, sense of joy and meaning. I was becoming aware that God was inviting me to deeper intimacy and to become part of Jesus mission of proclaiming God’s love to the world. Jesus said, “I lay down my life freely”. I can’t even think of comparing my life to Jesus sacrifice, but after all I am called to be his Faithful Companion in laying my life down too. And in doing it freely. What does it mean “to be free”? In discerning my vocation I realized I was free when I was able to put aside my work, friends, security, etc. and choose a religious life commitment; free to choose something in spite of what “the world” prefers; free to choose something good among other good things (work, relationships); after all, all were gifts. This may be why I like this prayer, written by a Spaniard and a companion of Jesus, Ignatius of Loyola. It’s interesting I can’t always pray it because some days the cost seems overwhelming. Take Lord receive… all I need is your love and your grace.
Over all these years, life as an FCJ continues being for me the response to an invitation from God, to an experience of the love of God. The invitation is so deep and so powerful that one senses the need to respond to it placing one’s life in God’s hands. It is an invitation to share in the life and the mission of Jesus, making him present in the world by living as he lived, chaste, poor and obedient. With my commitment I want to be an instrument of the power of the name of Jesus to bring healing, salvation and hope to our world. This conviction and a sense of gratitude for it is what sustains me day after day.
My Journey has just begun
Afra Primadiana fcJ, Indonesian
Eight years ago, when I made my first vows, I said to myself, 'My life journey has just begun'. Now, on the occasion of my final vows, I find that that expression is still valid: 'I have just begun'.
I was born in Merauke on the 2nd August 1968. My family is originally from Yogyakarta. I am the third of five children and grew up in Jakarta. Become a sister? The idea was there already, even when I was young. But it wasn't constant. When I was in primary school, I wanted to be a sister because I was interested in their way of life. In Secondary School I tried to forget about it, especially because many of my friends at that time had the same idea. I didn't want to be like the others. In Upper Secondary, the desire became stronger because I wanted to share my life by serving the poor. I wanted to go to Papua and live with the people in the villages there. My director said that desire was not enough. Really? It's a good intention though! Finally when I was at university I had a deep spiritual experience that changed my life. I felt God loved me and wanted me, so much. God wanted me to be there as I was. Therefore if you had asked me at that time, why I wanted to be a sister, I would have answered 'I was flooded by God's love and I fell in love with God!'
I became a postulant on September 29th 1991 and became a novice on August 26th 1992. I made first vows on September 18th 1994. All of this took place in Yogyakarta.
Why do I say that 'I have just begun?' Firstly because just to be a sister is not my final aim. If it was so, it would mean that, after making first vows, I wouldn't need to do anything any more! To be a sister is to choose a way of life in which I offer myself totally to God's love, and grow in loving God. This is a lifetime's journey.
Secondly, because faithfulness cannot be measured by how long I live in a convent. Faithfulness cannot be measured in quantity but in quality. Every minute is a time to continue to try to live as a faithful companion of Jesus. God's love is always new every morning. My vows to the Lord are also renewed every day. Therefore, every day I say, 'I have just begun'.
As it says in Psalm 85:11, 'love and faithfulness will meet.' God’s love will meet my faithfulness, and my love will meet God’s faithfulness.
Today I joyfully give thanks to the Lord for God's faithful love in my life and for God's call. I give thanks for the love and faithfulness of those who have journeyed with me: my family, close friends, fcJ communities around the world, those whom I have met in my ministry and those who have supported and challenged me to grow. Thank you. May God's blessing be with all of us so that we too may live in love and faithfulness to God.
'I am, among all, most richly blessed...'
Agnes Samosir fcJ, Indonesian
I was born in Banjarbaru (South Borneo) on January 30th 1969. I was the third child of five children of Mr. Victor Samosir and Mrs. Mariani Marpaung. The seed of my vocation began to appear when I joined an altar girl group, an organist group and "Ascensio" children's choir under Fr. A. Soetanta, SJ, at Fransiscus Xaverius Parish, Tanjung. Priok, North Jakarta. The seed grew more and more when I was at Ursula High School, studied at Sanata Dharma Teacher Training Institute (now a university) and was involved in Christian Life Community (CLC). This precious experience encouraged me to join the FCJ Society, which name was still foreign at that time.
During the time of postulancy, novitiate, and temporary profession, I passed through a curving road which brought me to an understanding of life as expressed in Henry Viscardi's reflection:
I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health, that I might do greater things.
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of others.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among all, most richly blessed.
It is this understanding of life which encouraged me to be courageous enough to say "YES" with all my heart and mind to the call to be a faithful companion of Jesus for my lifetime.
Who am I?
MaryAnne Francalanza fcJ, Maltese
My name is MaryAnne Francalanza and I live in the British Province. I come from Malta - a little island in the Mediterranean Sea. I travelled from Malta to England to meet the FCJs. I contacted them first on the internet:-) I studied Mathematics at the University of Malta and did my teacher training here in the UK. I taught Mathematics at an 11-18 Catholic School in Hounslow and enjoyed it immensely. There is something very life-giving in working with children. It is both a huge responsibility and a great privilege.
I never would have imagined that my journey with God would bring me here - and yet it feels like home. I had been growing in an environment of Ignatian Spirituality for a number of years, having worked closely with Jesuits in Malta and I felt that this was the way I had to take to find myself more and be the best person I can be.
I was attracted to the FCJ society for several reasons. I was looking for Ignatian women whose lives are rooted in God and whose work is a continuation of Jesus’ mission. I was looking for a group of people who embrace the world with all its joys and sorrows, and are not afraid to ‘live fully’. I was looking for a place where I could use the gifts God has given me for God’s kingdom, and where I could do this with like-minded people who journey together. For me, the FCJ Society is this place.
I started my two-year novitiate year in September 2001. It was a blessed time full of new challenges and insights. There were moments of joy and of pain, but I discovered some very beautiful things inside me, and realised that I still have a lot to learn.
But if I had to start again - I wouldn’t change a thing!
I made my first vows in 2003 and you can read a little about my ceremony by clicking here.
The Quest for God
Ann McGill fcJ, Canadian
Because consecrated religious women and men are explicitly about “the quest for God”, religious life is intended to be “a sign” which can and should inspire others to live their own particular calling. It witnesses also to God’s presence and love in the here and now, while at the same time, pointing to our ultimate “homeland,” the heavenly city that God has prepared for us.
Yes, God chooses whom God wills, and God takes the initiative in an individual’s life. Just as with Abraham and Sarah and so many others who have gone before us, we are all called by God to walk in faith, to trust God’s promises to us, to set out on the journey even when we do not know the destination. As Religious, we are called to make the relationship with God the primary and defining relationship of our lives. We are called to make Christ our First Love. And I think it is really important to emphasize this, that our lives are primarily about Love, about being the face of God’s love and compassion to our world, whether that be through the ministry of prayer as in the monastic communities, or through more active involvement in response to the needs around us.
God’s invitation may come in the form of an interior inclination to a deeper spiritual life. It may come in the form of a question or comment by someone who knows us well. There is no limit indeed, to how God may awaken a person to this sense that he or she may be gifted in this way.
Typically, at first, people tend to doubt, deny or try to turn a deaf ear to the little whisper of God that stirs this unsettling ‘’something’’ in their heart. They may consider themselves not holy enough, not good enough, too young or too old, too sinful, etc. Most often, the communication from God is not anything as dramatic as St. Paul’s encounter with God on the way to Damascus, but just God speaking to us where we are in the circumstances and ordinariness of our lives and our relationships. Nevertheless, I believe, each of us is given our own little “burning bushes” or “annunciations” if we have eyes and ears and hearts to perceive them in the routines of our days. That is why regular prayer, and reflection on our experience, is important for the development of a sensitive heart, so that we can catch this still small voice of God amid the busyness of our lives.
In my own case I felt this secret desire from my pre-teen years, and it was sparked mainly, I believe, through reading the stories of “foreign missionaries” in magazines that came into our home monthly. Like many people today, I had no personal contact with sisters, brothers or priests, apart from seeing the priest at church and occasionally when he visited the school. After finishing my education I had an office job, which proved to be very unsatisfying. I was involved in the social activities and relationships of that time and place and while that was fun, it left me wanting more. God was tugging at my heart.
In an effort to placate this persistent little voice I decided I would become a Nurse, thinking that that is a good thing to do with my life - I will be helping people. That was indeed a very positive and growth filled time in my life. But after several years of various kinds of nursing experience in various parts of the UK, the opportunity arose for me to go to Canada. So off I went, again thinking that being in a new country, meeting new people would satisfy this nagging little yearning for something more. Well, I came to Canada and lived in Calgary. I had my job, an apartment, car and all the trappings of singles in those days. I had a close circle of mainly outdoor type friends with whom I loved to hike and backpack and ski on a regular basis. I was active in the local parish. I was still close to my family. Life was good, but you know there was still this sense in me that something was missing. It was a persistent nagging sense of dissatisfaction with my life despite all that I had and all that I enjoyed.
I did a lot of spiritual reading and a lot of praying. I used to feel so frustrated with God, wondering why God was keeping God’s plan for my life so secret and mysterious, when all I wanted to do was live out “God’s will” in my life. Eventually I found a very helpful Spiritual Director and that’s when things began to move. It felt good to have someone to talk to about this turmoil that was going on inside of me. And I discovered there were several other people like myself, considering a religious vocation. After a couple of years of personal and group prayer, discussions, discernment, visits and live-ins with various religious communities, I was still sitting on the fence. Then one day I was walking in the park with a Sister and talking about my life when she stopped and turned and faced me and said “Ann McGill when are you going to stand up and be counted?”
Well, that did it! Being confronted like that by someone I loved and trusted freed something inside of me. It freed me to take the next step. And there are many steps from the time one applies to enter a community to the time one makes final commitment. It takes several years and there are many supports but also challenges along the way. I remember saying to myself after that first formal step that “at long last I am doing what I have always wanted to do.”
There are great “storms” swirling around us in our church and world today, and some may feel like Religious Life and the Church and all of us are “perishing” in various ways. But the Spirit of Jesus is still with us and says to us “Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?” As the disciples in the boat being lashed by the storm, we too are called to invoke and trust that the power and the Spirit of Jesus will Shepherd us through these turbulent times. As I was thinking about this the words of poet Christopher Fry came to me:
“The frozen misery of centuries breaks, cracks, begins to move...
Thank God our time is now when wrong comes up to face us everywhere.
Never to leave us until we take the longest stride of soul we ever took.
Affairs are now soul size, the enterprise is exploration into God.”
Yes, we do live in turbulent times but we are not alone. We are called individually and as church to a radical openness, trust and dependence on God. As the poet says, we may be being called to take the longest stride of soul we ever took.
God is a patient, faithful, gentle but persistent God. If you or anyone you know is sensing that God may be inviting you to become a brother, sister or priest, I encourage you and them to seek out someone who can accompany you and guide and help you along the path as you discern your way forward.
God's Calling in my Life
Luminiţa Popescu fcJ, Romanian
In 1987, I was a student at the Polytechnic Institute in Galaţi, Romania, attempting to find God in my life as an Orthodox Christian. It was through a school-mate that I found the Catholic church and I can say, this is how I found God too.
My first encounter with the Jesuits was in 1991 when I went on a retreat with a Jesuit priest. This time of reflection, aided by the Ignatian spirit, triggered my spiritual development. In other words this spirit was planted in my heart like a seed ready to burst in any spiritual direction the Jesuits would provide.
When I first met the FCJ Sisters I was very happy to hear that they are deeply rooted in Ignatian Spirituality (so dear to my heart). That was a very positive beginning. Then I felt attracted by their openness, their charism to be the companions to others, in any place and at any time. The Virgin Mary has a special place in my heart so I was very touched to learn that the FCJ Sisters have a particular prayer to Our Lady in which they call her Queen, Superior General and, Mother.
Enlightened by God and aided by the Jesuits, observing the Sisters' life and behaviour and listening to my heart, I said to myself: "I think God wants me to be an FCJ." It was not easy to reach this point because I could not speak any English, the congregation was new in Romanian and I was the only Romanian at the time. But I knew (and still know) that God is faithful to the calling he made to me, and if I am at peace inside and on the same wavelength with the Sisters, then all will be well. Eight years have passed and during this time I have received a lot from God and the Sisters; they have been blessed years. There are no words to thank God and the Sisters enough for everything I have received.
Called to be a Faithful
Companion of Jesus
Mary Rose Rawlinson fcJ, Canadian
In January 1960, when I told my mother I wanted to be a sister,
a Faithful Companion of Jesus, she asked me what I knew about
the FCJs. "Well", I said, "they wear mostly all
black, they mostly all teach, and they never go home"!
This doesn't seem like very much to base a life choice on, but as I reflect back on those days, I realize that I knew considerably more than that.
I realized that becoming a sister was entering into a love relationship. From the witness of my parents particularly, I was aware that committed, faithful, love relationships depend on mutuality, openness, communication and trust.
I knew that becoming a sister was an expression of wanting to live my life for others, unselfishly. I knew I wanted somehow to be useful to God and available to serve God's people. My father asked me if it would be better to finish university first, to become a doctor or a teacher and then to offer that to God. That was tempting and I saw that it was a good suggestion. Still, I also had a strong desire to simply offer myself to God and let God use me how God wanted.
I knew that becoming a sister was about wanting to live for God alone. As psalm 62 puts it, "Only in God will my soul be at rest...". I realized that life commitment as a sister included not being married and not having children. That was not an easy decision to make and at times it has not been an easy decision to live!
I knew instinctively somehow that Eucharist would be essential to my life as a Faithful Companion of Jesus. Before I even considered being a sister, I had begun to go to daily Mass, usually to 7:30am at St. Mary's Cathedral so that my friends and classmates would not see me doing anything so holy or strange! When I was a child, our family usually went to daily Mass during Lent and then came home for breakfast together before school. I suspect the adventure and the joy of those early morning family outings contributed to my growing appreciation of Eucharist.
Although at sixteen I did not have many possessions to leave behind, somehow I had a sense that having things, even things like educational and entertainment opportunities of my own choosing, was not going to make me happy. I had a pretty strong hunch that the call of Jesus to "Come, follow me" would hold more than enough richness and possibility for me.
People have asked me, "But how did you know? How did you hear God calling you?"
Well, I certainly didn't hear a voice or get a letter from God! I considered possible ways to live my life: as a single woman, in marriage, as a sister. When I tried to pray, when I tried to ask what God wanted, the idea of becoming a sister persisted. I didn't get answers, just a simple, gentle, persistent sense of "Come and see!".
At first I said to God, "Well, life as a sister might be okay for some people, it probably is, but it's certainly not for me". But the idea did not go away! Then I said, "Well, okay God, maybe it is for me, and if this is what you want from me, I will be a sister, but not until I finish university." Still, the idea persisted! Finally, I said to God, "Okay, if you want me to be a sister, I'll do it, whenever you want, you show me the time!" I decided to ask to become a novice. I knew that if the Community told me I was too young and that I needed to wait, that would be a sign that God wanted me to wait as well!
I was accepted and many years later I am still grateful to God for calling me to this life, still happy to be living as a Faithful Companion of Jesus.
Today, our world is perhaps more complex. Certainly, our community would ask a young woman to have more life experience before making a decision to become a sister. Much has changed in the Church as well and in religious life in these thirty-eight years. Vatican Council II has had a big influence on all of our lives. FCJ sisters no longer wear mostly all black, they do many ministries as well as teaching, and they maintain healthy relationships with their families!
But the essential things remain unchanged. Religious life, FCJ life, is still a relationship of faithful, committed love. Eucharist is still at the heart of our apostolic, community lives. It is still a source of joy to me to be useful to God, to somehow know myself as invited to be partner with God, companion with Jesus, in God's ongoing work of creation and redemption. I still know that I want to serve God how God wants, to be useful to God's people how God wants. I still know that things do not make me happy, but being a loving, committed woman religious does!
Being a sister is not a choice I made once. It is a choice I make every day! Becoming and being a faithful companion of Jesus takes a lifetime!
If you would like to know more
about the vocation to be an FCJ sister,
please click here.
Kinahangalan natong hatagan ug maayong atensiyon
ang atong bokasyon kay gitawag
kita sa espesyal nga pagserbisyo.