A reflection by Sr Michelle fcJ published by the Canadian Bible Society as part of their Lent series.
Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love.
Joel 2:13
One of the joys of spending time in a city park for me is watching enthusiastic dogs happily bounding around trees and over terrain, determinedly chasing balls and practicing other obedience exercises with their owners. These energetic animals are in a constant state of alertness, observing the slightest finger movement or facial expression of their trainer, united with them in purity of purpose.
Recently, I have come to more fully appreciate the peace of mind and heart that comes with such clarity of focus in my own spiritual life. In 2024, I enrolled in a graduate program at a Catholic college and promptly found myself overrun by anxiety and stress. At times, I was consumed by concerns that I would not be able to achieve adequate grades or please my professors, certain that I couldn’t keep up with the academic accomplishments of other students or justify the expense of this educational opportunity. The fears of failure that enveloped me were often paralyzing.
Similar to the eager canines that so single-mindedly focus on their trainers, I found that the solution out of this anxiety-driven paralysis was to direct my attention back to the loving countenance of my “owner.” In Joel 2:13, the prophet calls on the Israelites to turn to God who is “gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” In the moments when dread-filled thoughts convinced me that my purpose was to impress or please those around me, it was a relief to follow Jesus’ example of slipping away to a quiet spot to pray, allowing God to simply gaze upon me with unequivocal love. Whose opinion could be more important to me than God’s? If my best academic efforts, such as they were, pleased God, did it ultimately matter what anyone else might think?
The season of Lent is a time where we are invited to consider in what ways our attention has strayed from God’s countenance and to follow Jesus’ example of seeking God’s face, rediscovering the peace that comes with putting God back at the center of every part of our lives.
Sr Michelle fcJ is a chaplain and educator and lives in Calgary. Subscribe to Sr Michelle’s YouTube channel to see the videos she has prepared for her students during COVID-19 lockdown. Read Michelle’s vocation story or some of her contributions in the FCJ website. Follow the FCJ Sisters in the Americas on facebook.
