A reflection byย Sr Michelle, fcJ, first appeared in theย Weaving One Heart: Contemporary FCJ Voicesย blog. Michelleย is a middle school teacher in Edmonton, Canadaย
When I disclose that I teach in a junior high school, itโs not unusual for me to receive clucks of sympathy or kind words of appreciation; I suppose there are many people who donโt look back on their middle school years too fondly. While itโs true that teenagers are not always angels, they do often offer a lot of wonderful surprises.
One of my classes especially warmed my heart this week. In self-isolation due to close contact with a student who tested positive for COVID19, I was teaching virtually from home with a slightly dry throat. I ended up coughing a few times and was the recipient of some very sweet expressions of concern: โSister, are you all right?โ, and โYou should take some tea with lemon and honey,โ and โMake sure you rest after class is over.โ
As I reflected on how lovely it was to be the recipient of my studentsโ loving concern, I began to think about how a lot of the kindnesses sent my way this week only happened because I had been forced to spend more time at home doing less. It was like I was living my own version of the story of Martha and Mary from Lukeโs Gospel.
You see, like many of you reading this post, I tend to be a doer. I enjoy taking my turn at cooking supper and helping out with household chores and regularly leading the evening prayer. At work, I have a strong sense of wanting to do my part in the life of the school community. I take pride in generally being fairly well-organized and competent. You might say that Martha and I would have gotten along just fine.
And yet, due to reasons outside of my control, I find myself much more like Marthaโs sister, Mary, these days. Unable to supervise students at school, temporarily banned from cooking, and unable to complete most of the regular chores for my Community, thereโs not nearly as much โdoingโ in my life at the moment.
With an intensity that cannot be ignored right now, I am asked to accept what God sends me through the hands, hearts and voices of those around me, but at a distance. With each beautifully prepared meal left outside my bedroom door, with every thoughtful phone call from a friend, with every message of encouragement and promise of prayer, I become more like Mary, sitting at the feet of Jesus, receiving from God. As it turns out, unsurprisingly, God is so very generous!
When Pedro Arrupe, a former General Superior of the Jesuits was very sick, he wrote:
More than ever, I now find myself in the hands of God. This is what I have wanted all my life, from my youthโฆ. but now there is a difference: the initiative is entirely with God. It is indeed a profound spiritual experience to know and feel myself so totally in his hands.
Pedro Arrupe SJ
While I donโt pretend that my experience of self-isolation matches that of Arrupeโs illness, I do understand his words in a new way this week. It is indeed humbling to be โin the handsโ of my FCJ Sisters and the larger community of people that know me. It is a sacred place to sit before God as a recipient of the loving kindness of so many.
During this time of pandemic, let us pray that we all can sit still and be in touch with our inner โreceiverโ, our inner Mary, able to see the generous gifts that God offers through the hands, hearts and voices of those around us.
Subscribe toย Sr Michelleโs YouTube channelย to see the videos she has prepared for her students during COVID-19 lockdown. Readย Michelleโs vocation storyย or some ofย her contributions in the FCJ website. Follow theย FCJ Sisters in the Americasย on facebook
